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Kristine Tupas Querubin. 15 and still procrastinating. Sunny Singapore. Phineas&Ferb, Spongebob, yellow, accessories, hip hop, skins, poreotics, perry, dance, that's about it. "I'll do it my way. And the people that loved me will understand why I'm doing it because they love me."
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Times
Wednesday, September 22, 2010 @ 6:23 PM




I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?


Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

A friend told me to listen to this song.
It's a wake up call for me. Telling me I shouldn't give up, and shouldn't complain.
I kept crying. Crying out to God.
I was really tired. Spiritually and physically. Tired of trying. Tired of giving. Tired of helping. Tired of believing. Tired of God.

Yes, that's what I felt.

I thought it was over. I thought that there's nothing I can do.
I thought it was a dead end.

Many people say I have no problems. But I do. I have a lot.
I feel pressurized. I feel helpless. That's why I gave up and thought that it's not gonna bother me anymore. I was wrong. It stays there.

My purpose was wrong. It became a come-and-go thing. It meant nothing to me. It didn't make any sense to me.

Until I got my wake up call.